Happy Thanksgiving!

With Thursday being Thanksgiving, I have always viewed this week as the beginning of the holiday season. Ahhh...the holidays. This is a time of fun, reminiscing memories of the past, reflection of our year, and hope for the coming year. It can also be a time of stress, overwhelm, and managing one’s family. It is at this time of the year that the “perfect family” is portrayed - as if we all lived in a Norman Rockwell painting. For some, it is. For many, it is a time of stress, criticism, conflict, and toxicity.

It is also a time to take care of yourself. If you do have a family system that is toxic, set good limits – for you. Do you need to spend time with your family? If you believe you do, limit the amount of time you do so. Either give yourself a set time you will leave, or choose to leave when things become too tense. It is good to have support. Can you bring someone with you? If not, schedule check-in times whether it is by text or a phone call.

Personal space – if you do not wish to be hugged or kissed, it is okay to say so. I do realize some family systems may not agree with this. However, remember that we are working on taking care of you. If you are uncomfortable with, for example, your aunt’s husband giving you a full hug with kiss, you can put your hands in his and give an intimate handshake instead. Or, if you feel comfortable discussing with a family member ahead of time, they can help you navigate the situation. It is your body. It is your say. If you do not wish to hug or kiss, you do not need to do so.

Food and drink. For those in recovery, Thanksgiving can be especially stressful. This holiday tends to have lots of food and alcohol. If you are in recovery, plan ahead. Find out what food will be served. How does that food fit into your meal plan? Instead of getting overwhelmed by the amount of food, break it down into food categories – protein, grains, dairy, vegetables, fruits, and fats. Sometimes that helps to decrease the overwhelm. Plan how to manage the alcohol. What can you drink instead? It is possible that not all members will know you are in recovery. Plan how to respond when someone offers you a drink or questions why you are not drinking. Have a support person or two on standby. If your support person is at Thanksgiving with you, check in and let them know how you are managing. If your support person is not at Thanksgiving with you, schedule check-in times. Having a scheduled check-in assures you will do so (or they will check in with you) in case those negative thoughts in your head get the best of you.

Regardless of what your situation is this Thanksgiving, one thing we can all focus on is gratitude. What are you grateful for? When we have gratitude for how things are currently, we are inviting more good into our lives. One way to do so is to have a daily or weekly gratitude practice. An example is at the end of the day, write in a journal 5 things you are grateful for. Even on the crummiest of days, there is something we are thankful for. Those who do engage in a regular gratitude practice state that their perspective is more positive. I am thankful for you.

I wish you a Happy Thanksgiving!
Denise

*If you or someone you know is thinking of ending this decade and beginning the new year investing in themselves, I currently have room for 5 individual coaching clients. To discuss how we can best work together, schedule an appointment here www.calendly.com/denisestyer