Why she has not decided yet
She already knows.
She has read the posts. She has opened the emails. She has clicked the link and then closed the tab.
She knows something needs to change.
So what is actually stopping her?
It is not laziness. It is not lack of motivation. It is not that she does not want it badly enough.
It is one of three things. Sometimes all three at once.
The first is the exception belief.
She looks at other women who have done this work and thinks: that is great for them. But I am different. My situation is more complicated. My patterns run deeper. My life has too many moving parts. It works for others but it will not work for me.
That belief feels like realism. It is not. It is the oldest trick the resistance plays. Making you believe you are the one person for whom transformation is not available.
You are not the exception. You are the rule. Every woman I have ever worked with believed she was the complicated one.
The second is exhaustion.
She knows what she needs. She can see it clearly. But she has nothing left. She has been running on empty for so long that the idea of doing one more thing, even a thing that is for her, feels impossible.
What I say to that woman is ~ the work is not one more thing to add to your list. It is the thing that eventually makes the list feel manageable. You do not do it when you have energy left over. You do it because you are tired of being this tired.
The third is the guilt of choosing herself.
She has spent so long putting everyone else first that focusing on herself feels selfish. Like a betrayal of the people who need her. Like she does not have the right to take up that kind of space for herself.
That guilt is not a character flaw. It is conditioning. A lifetime of being taught that her needs come last. That caring for herself is indulgent while caring for everyone else is virtuous.
It is not selfish to choose yourself.
It is the most honest thing you can do.
If you recognized yourself in any of those three, that recognition is not a coincidence.
It is the beginning of deciding.
When you are ready, I am here.
Download your complimentary She Decided mantra sheet here. Ten mantras for the woman who is done waiting. A real place to start.
xo, Denise
She Rises. She Becomes.
P.S. If something in you already knows it is time, fill out this short inquiry form and tell me where you are. I read every single one personally and respond within 48 hours Monday through Thursday.