Are you feeling lonely? 6 tips to manage
We can be all alone and not feel lonely. Yet, we can also be with many people and feel all alone. How are you doing on the loneliness scale right now?
I have heard from some clients who live alone - and for the most part, enjoy living alone - that have shared the loneliness they are feeling right now is palpable.
I have also heard from some clients who live with others and share that after a day of the craziness of their “new normal”, they too are feeling lonely.
I, myself, currently live alone. Well, I do have Lily the cat here with me but let’s be honest, she does things her own way and on her own time table! I consider myself an ambivert. As much as I enjoy being with people and socializing, I definitely need my downtime for recharging. For the most part, I enjoy living alone. However, I have noticed that the evenings seem especially quiet now. In reflecting on why, evenings are when I would get together with friends and socialize, attend networking dinners, and run errands. Like you, I’m doing none of these things right now.
Regardless of your situation, here are 6 things to help so you don’t feel as lonely:
Connect with family or friends in the evening whether it is texting, talking on the phone, or having a group call. Reach out to people so you feel a connectedness. (I do not recommend reaching out to people who you usually feel like crap after speaking with). Yes, you may feel like you are the one reaching out most of the time but that is okay. In other words, don’t sit and wait for someone to reach out to you. It is okay to initiate it yourself - and maybe even schedule some calls in advance.
Get some kind of exercise* during the day - whether it is going for a walk near your home (if allowed in your area and wearing a mask if recommended), having your own dance party (you can also do this with a friend on the phone), doing some yoga, or stretching. Exercising during the day can help reduce some of the restlessness that might be felt in the evening. And, as Elle Woods said in Legally Blonde, “Exercise gives you endorphins. Endorphins make you happy.”
Make sure you are eating properly. Restricting food intake as well as overeating can impact our mood. I subscribe to the belief that there is no such thing as “bad food” as long as our choices are in moderation and balanced.
Plan some activities you can do in the evening besides numbly watching TV - if you do want the TV on, choose a comedy or something that piques your interest (limit the amount of news you watch), read a book, writing letters is a way to connect with others, or pamper yourself with a facial, or bubble bath
Write 5-10 things you are grateful for from the day. Keep a journal and take time each day to write out what you are thankful for. This can definitely help you feel grateful for your day and possibly even your time alone.
Schedule a coaching call! Are you wanting to work on being okay with downtime? Or maybe working on how you self-sabotage or feel stuck? I offer 1-, 3-, and 6-month coaching packages. I do offer some evening times. And, even if our (virtual) sessions are during the day, there may possibly be writing exercises for you to work on in the evening. Schedule a call to discuss how I can best help you.
If you have activities I didn’t list, please share. I would love to hear what you are doing.
While we do not know how long our physical and social distancing will last, this is temporary. Be gentle and take care of yourself during these uncertain times. Remember, we can be alone and not be lonely.
*If you are on exercise restrictions, follow your plan