The Calming of an Evening Routine (and how to do so with children!)
I recently spoke about having a morning routine and provided some activities that you could incorporate to start your day off well. What about an evening routine - do you have one?
An evening routine can help you to unwind and relax so you can sleep well. It can also help to set yourself up for a good day the next morning.
There are 4 things that I like to recommend for an evening routine.
For myself, I keep a journal next to my bed for just my evening routine. Each night:
I am thankful. Write down 5-10 things you are thankful for that day. On a difficult day it might be more difficult to come up with a lot to be thankful for. Yet, there will also be days that you thought were crummy but realized you had a crummy moment but a good day. Regardless of my day, I like to always include that I am thankful for all I have and am receiving. I also include that I am thankful that I didn’t have any Pepsi that day - it helps keeps me honest
I received. Include something that you received that day. In order to be able to give, we must also be able to receive. This can be especially difficult for those who like to do things on their own or are hesitant to ask for help. Some examples are: I received a compliment, I had an unexpected deposit into my bank account, or a good talk with a friend.
I am. I also recommend listing “I am” statements such as I am blessed, I am thankful, I am successful, I am loved. Write down whatever it is that pops into your head that is positive. This is a great way to tell yourself positive statements right before you drift off to sleep.
I don’t know about you, but I love the smell of lavender. I find it to be calming, soothing, and relaxing. (Or use any scent you enjoy) I have Bath & Body Works lavender mist spray that I spray over my sheets and pillows. A calming scent can help you drift off to sleep.
Two other points I wish to mention are our electronics. Research has shown that to get a good night’s sleep, we should be off of our electronics at least an hour before we go bed. This is especially important if you don’t sleep well. Being on our phone, iPads, laptops, rev up our brain waves which makes it hard to calm down and go to sleep. Taking an hour off of electronics before bed helps to slow down our brain waves so we can sleep. If you wake up in the middle of the night, stay off of your electronics as they will only make it more difficult to go back to sleep!
Research has also shown that removing your electronics from your bedroom can also help you sleep better. I, personally, do not follow that one. I keep my phone charging on my nightstand so that if my son is trying to reach me, I will hear the call.
What if you don’t have time? I have received some questions on how does one set up a morning or evening routine when one has a child, is a single mom, or has more than one child? Great question!
I remember about 10-15 years ago I was in a family session with a mom and her teen daughter. Mom was a single mom with three children who was overwhelmed and stressed out. As we were talking about self care, Mom exclaimed she didn’t have time. As a single mom myself, I understood.
Do know that you don’t have to take on all of these activities at once. These are suggestions. If you can do one activity a day - or if that is too much, maybe once a week to start with until you can slowly build up. Try one thing you could do in the morning that doesn’t take a lot of time that will be a good way to start your day, i.e. listening/singing/dancing to an upbeat song.
If you are exhausted at the end of the day and cannot fathom doing what I recommended above, then start with thinking of a couple of things from the day that you are thankful for. If writing them down is too much, think of them while brushing your teeth.
It might seem like a lot right now. As you get used to self care, you can slowly add in other activities to take care of you.
If you have questions, reach out to me! I would love to hear from you. If you struggle with taking care of you, schedule (www.calendly.com/denisestyer) a call with me to discuss how we can work together - you will feel so much better by taking care of yourself. I understand the feeling of overwhelm. I’ve been there and I would love to connect with you.